Family & Relationships Don’t Text Your Ex Happy Birthday With Former Bachelor Nick Viall By Amy Morin, LCSW Amy Morin, LCSW Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk, "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time. Learn about our editorial process Published on October 03, 2022 Print Verywell / Julie Bang Table of Contents View All Table of Contents Meet Nick Viall Why Nick Viall Is Mentally Strong What You’ll Hear on the Show What You’ll Learn About Mental Health and Mental Strength Quotes From Nick More About the Podcast On The Verywell Mind Podcast, Amy Morin, LCSW, interviews authors, experts, entrepreneurs, athletes, musicians, and other inspirational people about the strategies that help them think, feel, and do their best in life Follow Now: Apple Podcasts / Spotify / Google Podcasts Meet Nick Viall Nick Viall is best known for his role on "The Bachelor." He starred in "The Bachelorette" for two seasons before starring as the bachelor. He also appeared on "Bachelor in Paradise." He has since started a podcast called "The Viall Files" where he talks about relationships and he also wrote a book called "Don’t Text Your Ex Happy Birthday: And Other Advice on Love, Sex, and Dating." Why Nick Viall Is Mentally Strong Nick’s struggles with his love life have been public. He’s been cheated on, had engagements end, and been rejected by women. But he acknowledges that he made a lot of mistakes in those relationships too. Now, he’s sharing what he’s learned about love and dating. He makes it clear that he’s not a relationship therapist, but he has learned some things about relationships the hard way. What You’ll Hear on the Show The difference between expectations and boundaries Why we tend to lie to ourselves in relationships How to follow through with your boundaries when you’re dating someone Why your boundaries are really for you and not the other person How your ego can interfere with your ability to have a healthy relationship The difference between pet peeves and non-negotiables How to know what your non-negotiables really are How dating apps have changed the dating scene How to differentiate between your emotions and an emotional connection Why we sometimes prefer pain over boredom Why you shouldn’t text your ex happy birthday Why you shouldn’t worry about someone cheating on you The importance of being patient with yourself The Importance of Setting Boundaries for Mental Health What You’ll Learn About Mental Health and Mental Strength A relationship can reflect the amount of mental strength you have already and it can also be an opportunity to build mental strength. Our insecurities and unhealed emotional wounds often play out in relationships when our feelings get hurt or when we aren’t sure how the other person feels about us. So relationships give us plenty of opportunities to learn about ourselves and to build more mental muscle on a daily basis. 8 Ways to Feel Better After a Breakup Quotes From Nick Nick Viall We want that fairytale ending but sometimes we just have to be willing to press play, watch the movie, see if we like it, and then decide if we want to keep watching. — Nick Viall "Sometimes we will give into things like boredom and loneliness. And we will focus on what our egos are telling us, and we will seek validation rather than what might be better for our hearts.""Keep learning about the person you're dating and being willing to find out more, even at the risk of finding out something you don't like, because the upside is the more you learn, the more exciting it is." Navigating the 4 Stages of a Relationship More About the Podcast The Verywell Mind Podcast is available across all streaming platforms. If you like the show, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. Reviews and ratings are a great way to encourage other people to listen and help them prioritize their mental health too. Editor’s Note: Please be mindful that this transcript does not go through our standard editorial process and may contain inaccuracies and grammatical errors. Thank you. For media or public speaking inquiries, contact Amy here. Download the Transcript Links and Resources Buy Nick’s book: "Don’t Text Your Ex Happy Birthday" Listen to Nick’s podcast: The Viall Files Follow Nick on Instagram: @NickViall If You Liked This Episode, You Might Also Like These Episodes Friday Fix: 7 Reasons You Might Let People Mistreat You The Communication Mistakes Most Therapists Make With Therapist Jenn Mann Friday Fix: 5 Boundary Mistakes to Avoid What Are the Five Love Languages? By Amy Morin, LCSW Amy Morin, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and international bestselling author. Her books, including "13 Things Mentally Strong People Don't Do," have been translated into more than 40 languages. Her TEDx talk, "The Secret of Becoming Mentally Strong," is one of the most viewed talks of all time. See Our Editorial Process Meet Our Review Board Share Feedback Was this page helpful? Thanks for your feedback! What is your feedback? Other Helpful Report an Error Submit