How to Perfect Your Online Dating Profile

Venturing into the world of online dating is not easy, especially when it requires creating a profile to concisely show others who you are. Many feel pressure to be the funniest, hottest or most interesting person on the app. 

Knowing how to capture your personality, interests, and general outlook on life succinctly is daunting for anyone. But, the truth is, no one expects you to be perfect. Sometimes it's the simplest and most honest dating profiles that are the most effective. 

Here are a few tips on how to make an online dating profile you can feel confident presenting to the world.

Create Opportunities to Connect

One of the best things you can do on your dating profile is provide ways for people to start a conversation with you. Including different types of text or specific photos can give people easy opportunities to respond. 

“Including an engaging question for potential matches in your profile can invite engagement and make it easier for people to reach out and start chatting with you,” says Ivy Kwong, LMFT, relationship and family therapist. Conversation starters may make people more inclined to reach out. 

Some apps, such as Hinge provide prompts that act as conversation starters while also allowing users to include details about themselves. "Change my mind about...", "Two truths and a lie", and "What I want to know about you" are all fun ways for you to put some information out there that makes it easy for people to reach out and break the ice.

You can also make your profile more interesting and prone to engagement with specific details about your life people can relate to. For example, rather than just saying you like to read, if someone sees they have the same favorite book as you, they will be more likely to respond. 

While it may feel intimidating to include answers that are less basic, profiles that are surface-level and generic can easily slip through the crack and be dismissed. Having something unique on your profile will make you more memorable and intriguing.

Choose Good Photos

When it comes to online dating, photos are obviously important, especially if you are meeting a stranger. But, too many times, online dating hopefuls will select a profile picture that is unclear or hides their face in some way. 

The majority of your photos on your dating profile should be high quality and of you alone. It’s ok to have one or two with a friend, but nobody wants to zoom in on a blurry, group photo to find you.  

You should also take advantage of options to upload multiple photos. This allows you to supplement a profile photo with other photos that show more of you and your personality. 

“Present realistic photos of you in a variety of settings that showcase your interests and values. This could mean including family members, friends, and displaying your hobbies and interests. It’s best to post recent photos that represent your typical life.” says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a licensed psychologist who specializes in relationships.

How much do photos matter?

It can feel very vulnerable to put photos of yourself on the internet, especially if you struggle with or have struggled with body image or self-confidence issues. 

However, a study done in 2021 showed that both photos and text are taken into account when perceiving attractiveness of someone’s dating profile. While photos may be more eye-catching initially, text on a profile is still taken into account regardless of attractiveness. The study reveals both text and photos cue attractiveness in their own way.

So, while your photo selection is important, try not to get too caught up in it—people care a lot about what’s in your head.

Be Concise

Even though some details are important for making connections, it's smart to be selective about the information you choose to share. Make it a highlight reel—a couple of short paragraphs, or witty answers to a couple of prompts, is enough. 

This also means that, in the small amount of space you have in your profile, you should focus on positive things. “Providing lots of don'ts or information about what you don't like is a turnoff for many people, even when they agree with you,” Kwong says. 

Remember, you want to give people an overview of who you are without telling them your entire life story all at once. You want to give people a reason to message you and get to know you, plus there's something fun about maintaining a little bit of mystery!

Fill in all the Fields

One mistake a lot of people make is not taking advantage of the tools the app provides. When trying to keep your dating profile concise while still giving a lot of information, the key is to make use of every tool the app or website provides. 

For example, many sites have places to mark if you drink, smoke or use marijuana, if you have pets, or if you want or have children. Using these fields makes it easy to convey information without having to list it all out in your profile.

Be Honest

When it comes to online dating, it can be tempting to stretch the truth a bit in order to present yourself in the best possible light. While it's natural to want to be accepted, it's more important that you aren't trying to fit yourself into some mold that you think others would want. The majority of people prefer honesty over perfection.

So try to be as open and honest as you can. You don’t have to share every quirk about yourself, but avoid lying on your profile and creating a false persona. And adding an unexpected detail about yourself doesn’t hurt either. It actually may help you make the best connections and meet those with mutual interests!

Am I ready to publish my profile?

One way to ensure your profile accurately represents you before showing it to the world is by consulting the people who know you best, your friends. If you aren’t sure about a part of your dating profile, run it by your friends to see if they have advice on how to improve it. Or, they will validate you and it looks perfect. Either way, it never hurts to ask.

Another thing to do before you press done is to proofread and edit your profile for any grammatical errors. “For some people, spelling or grammatical errors can come across as careless and be a turnoff. By fixing any spelling or grammar errors before publishing, your profile will read more smoothly and leave a more positive impression on potential matches,” Kwong says.

When it comes to being emotionally prepared to go online with your profile, there is no right answer. Whatever feels right for you is what's best. However, if you’re nervous, remember that putting yourself out there on a dating site does not mean that you have to go on dates right away. Creating a profile is just an exciting first step.